Interview: The “It” Girl
The following is an interview with Matchmaker and Relationship Coach Rachel Russo. She has beauty, brains, and a lot to say. She is the ultimate “It” girl. Enjoy.
What motivated you to want to help people find love?
My desire to help people find love probably originates from my days as a little girl reading fairy tales, was strengthened during my teenage years watching romantic comedies, and fully blossomed after I graduated college as a psychology major. It was then that I realized that working for a startup online dating company sounded a lot cooler than administering meds at a psychiatric hospital. I realized that love is one of the most important things in the world, and being that I genuinely like (most) people, I wanted nothing but to help them find it!
What is the “it” girl?
An “It” Girl is a woman who has many of the qualities that breed happiness and success in life. She has both brains and beauty–on the inside and out. An “It” Girl doesn’t have to be the wealthiest or most popular but she has something about her that people are just naturally attracted to. Call it a positive energy, a magnetic personality, or an inner strength, she has that elusive “It” factor–the specialness everyone wants a piece of.
Describe what it is like being a smart, attractive, single female living in Gotham City?
It’s the fun and exciting ride of your life! There are men everywhere, and they are always paying attention to you–if even for the short term. For instance, right now, I am at a Starbucks on my laptop and the cute guy next to me has already introduced himself. Next, he’ll ask me if I want another green tea, and before you know it, he’ll take me to dinner. After dinner, we’ll go to the “It” club, and I’ll meet someone in publishing/TV/fashion who is absolutely fascinated by what I do. She’ll wants to pass on my card to her CEO, and I’ll meet him next week! And that’s how it’s done. Anything can happen to the “It” girl in the city, and it can happen fast!
From your own personal lens, how do you see dating and relationships?
Dating is a necessary evil…..just kidding! (Well, kind of!) When I am single, I enjoy dating, but every date is not a picnic! (For evidence, check out the reality dating blog I write for, as Ms. New York, at www.3six5dates.com) For me, it is a means to an ends. I believe great relationships come when you least expect them, when you don’t want them, and when you want them with all your heart. I’d embrace a great relationship at any time, but I am in no rush to push relationships/intimacy with people who may or may not be compatible with me. That being said, I don’t like to be alone for long. There is something to be said for having fun with Mr. Right Now until Mr. Right comes along. As long as things are healthy and the truth is apparent to both parties who are on the same page, relationships of all kinds can be great teachers. When dating and relationships become spiritual, you develop a real ability to develop self love and a love for others.
True or false. Being single has become the new married. This is why there are so many matchmakers in business.
Hmmm. Yes, it’s true people are delaying the age of marriage, many are getting divorced, and many are seeking alternatives to marriage, but the statistics show that most people will get married at some point in life. The research shows the benefits of marriage, and I don’t think marriage is going anywhere. There are so many matchmakers because so many people want to be married. People don’t shell out thousands of dollars in a bad economy just so they can have a Saturday night date.
Do you find matchmaking to be easy or hard? Why?
Matchmaking is not rocket science. The matchmaking criteria (i.e. age, religion, location, education level) I co-create with a client takes out a lot of the guess work. Listening closely to a client’s deal-breakers takes care of the rest. After these characteristics match up, I just ask myself, will these two people genuinely like each other? Do they have common core values? Will they look good together or say they have no chemistry when they meet? Often I listen to my intuition, which I trust greatly, because between my education and experience doing this for the past six years, I feel like I get to know who people really are very quickly. I just instinctively know who will hate each other thirty seconds into the first date and who will make it for the long term.
How would you describe the modern man? The modern woman?
Can I describe the Starbucks guy? He seems like the average modern day man to me–career oriented, ambitious, social, and busy. He just looked up my website and asked to friend me on Facebook. (Okay, so, things did not yet play out how they would in my head!). But this experience is the epitome of the modern man. Social networking has been the bread and butter of human interaction. The modern man updates his status, texts before and after dates, and has a ton of options in the palm of his hands. He’s probably overwhelmed by all the technology, information, and choices out there–just as much as the modern day woman. They are both a bit narcissistic, because how can they not be in a culture where one’s self-esteem rests on You Tube hits and livelihood depends on the current number of Twitter followers? The modern man and the modern woman seemingly have it all but long to go back to some aspect of “the good old days”. Both are a bit numb– starving for meaningful interaction and a sense of purpose in life. They are waiting for their big break, struggling to keep up with the image they are portraying, and dying to get in touch with who they really are. But, they are (mostly) having fun doing it!
For a relationship to be considered successful , does marriage have to be the end game? Why?
Absolutely not! Don’t get me wrong, I am pro-marriage, but it’s really just a social institution! Some people shouldn’t be married. Love and marriage don’t necessarily go together “like a horse and carriage”! You don’t need marriage to have a healthy, happy, loving relationship. People can live together, have children together, and have a life-long partnership without the piece of paper.
What do women really want from men today?
The same things they’ve always wanted. Companionship, love, loyalty, financial security, romance, a sense of humor, sex appeal, confidence, and a great husband and father. Many strong, independent women secretly want to be taken care of. They want to hold their own but also know that their men could be the breadwinners if they wanted to stay home and take care of the kiddies 1950′s- style.
Comment on this. It seems like that a lot of successful, aggressive women that date are so critical about every little thing about the men they meet, they will never be able to find a meaningful relationship. They become serial daters.
This works both ways. I see a lot of men and women being incredibly picky on a daily basis–especially in a city like NYC where there are so many options. But for the marriage minded woman, it is more of a threat, because unlike the bachelor who eventually wants to marry, this woman has the ticking clock. She can’t afford to be so picky, and if she doesn’t get over herself and find out what’s really important in a match, she is going to find herself alone and childless into her forties, fifties, and beyond.
How do you see the future? What will it take for men and women to get what they want when it comes to romance?
The future could be bright if people get more conscious and self aware. There are more resources and professionals than ever to help them create and maintain awesome long term relationships. I am hopeful, but realistic. A lot of people need to do a lot of work to prepare themselves for marriage, and unfortunately, a lot of them aren’t doing it. If premarital counseling and marriage education isn’t a priority, the divorce rate will only increase. Singles need to get real. Get honest in their communication and treat each person as if he or she could be the next love of their life. And as for those who’ve already found the love of their life? They need to hold on to him/her with everything they’ve got!
“Rachel Russo is a Matchmaker and Relationship Coach in NYC. She also writes and
speaks about everything dating and relationships. To learn more about Rachel, check
out her offical website at www.RachelRusso.com and check out her reality dating blog
at www.3six5dates.com.”
May 11th, 2011 at 4:26 pm
Miss It girl would not be given out meds in any psycho ward if she did not have a nursing degree.
She thinks women are too picky? Too many options and that Marriage is just a “social institution”??? NO idiot b*tc& its where you learn to truly love even when people are not lovable. Its when you love the journey, even when its stormy… Its where its not all about you which is somewhere you don’t want to be because you are a bull*h%# Artist
what a scam she has going…….probably deals in mail order brides too
May 18th, 2011 at 7:32 am
I love the bit on how social media has changed everything including dating and overwhelmed by choice to the point that we become slightly narcissistic – very perceptive!
And the bit about how we need to work on preparing for marriage. Amazing how many people don’t understand that – you prepare and work for everything worth having in life. Why should a romantic relationship be any different?
Some useful tips there Rachel, and well said!
May 31st, 2011 at 12:56 pm
Thanks for the comments! Shelli, I appreciate your insight here. Karla, it’s sad to me that the expression of my opinion has led you to conclude I must be a scam with mail order brides. I’d just like to assure any readers that is most certainly not the case, and I have tons of people who’d be willing to speak with anyone interested in working with me. They would all tell you that I am 100 percent genuine and carry all my business with integrity. Unfortunately, sometimes, as someone who is in the public eye, I am subject to such false criticism from people like Karla. That’s just the way it is. Any “It” Girl will have her share of haters. It comes with the territory and would never stop me from shining my light and encouraging those around me to shine their own lights.